


The Many Voices Of Luna Lovegood

by electricalsquid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And it manifests as voices i guess, F/M, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Im not saying shes crazy, Just that she has anxiety, Lunas voices, So yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricalsquid/pseuds/electricalsquid
Summary: So basically it's just insight into what I think the Harry potter character Luna Lovegood would be thinking in the midst of a war, the fear and doubt and sadness and angst that she hid beneath her dreamy facade.so yeahSorry for the shitty summary





	The Many Voices Of Luna Lovegood

**Author's Note:**

> Yup I've decided to call this 'don't fucking write after watching horror movies and reading angsty fics bc it will result in this shit'  
> 

|When people called her Loony

She learnt to laugh and hide

The voices and insecurities

That plagued her from inside|.

_(She was normal not Loony she was normal normal normal and she was Luna she wouldn't show how much their words hurt because no matter how hard she tried she couldn't convince herself otherwise she was not Loony she was Luna she was normal normal normal)_

And Luna, the eager, curious, bright girl that arrived with a pure and happy heart, realised that maybe Hogwarts wasn't so accepting as it seemed. 

So she hurt because  ~~~~ _she was normal too,_ and why wouldn't somebody realize that?

Her insecurities laughed and told her why.

~~Because you aren't normal Luna.~~

* * *

 

* * *

 

|When asked about the reasons 

Luna could see what others didn't

She'd laugh and then inside she'd cry

About the death of her mother that she'd hidden|

( _Luna wouldn't dwell on why she could see Thestrals wouldn't dwell on the sacrifice {was it really a sacrifice} her mother made the sacrifice she shouldn't have made bring her back back back please I'm tired of being alone because dad doesn't understand well he does but he doesn't please just bring her back because she can't anymore no Luna wouldn't dwell on why)_

Luna still remembered the first time she had seen the Thestrals.

She had tugged on her father's hand, closely clasped in her small fingers, and said; ' _Papa, what are t'ose? No one else is looking.'_

He looked down, (Luna didn't like the sad expression on his face) and told her, simply but clearly, that ' _Oh. T_ _hose are Thestrals. My little Moon, you can see them because your Mama isn't there anymore.'_

And Luna remembered the way Mama (did her face really look like that? Or was it more heart-shaped? Luna couldn't remember) had reached for her, pushing her away, and then the boom, and how Mama's eyes didn't sparkle anymore.

~~And how no matter how much Luna pleaded, how those eyes didn't sparkle again.~~

* * *

* * *

 

|People thought her crazy

With her Nargles and her thought

It had only been a metaphor

For the pain her emotions wraught|

( _She meant worries she meant anxiety she meant fear she meant doubt she meant the bone chilling hair raising knowledge that she was worthless **but no she wasn't she wasn't she wasnt**_ _even though everyone said so but she wasn't right and the blood curdling knowledge that she would never ever make it out of this war because why would she why should she how would she)_

Luna curled into a ball, head throbbing and breath hitching, eyes stinging as tear after tear slid down the bridge of her nose, wishing with all her might that someone was there to just hold her and tell her that she was going to be alright.

Wishing that someone was there to help her with the panic attacks she had every since she was six, and the depression that she was fighting so hard against, the depression that she hid so well.

~~And she wished it didn't hurt so bad when no one ever came.~~

* * *

* * *

 

 _|_ All the others shunned her

And so at the near end

She'd smile with a serene face

' _It was almost like having friends.'|_

_(See she always said she was normal here's proof all you haters I am normal so normal I have people who care people who are there because they want too sweet Neville brave Harry smart Hermione funny Ron fiery Ginny people who were always there but where are you now when we are oppressed and abused where are you now didn't you say you would always be there_

_**So where are you when we need** _ **you?)**

Luna slid against the cold stone wall, head thunking back with an audible thump, and she hissed at the pain of an overdose of the Crucio curse.

She should probably get up soon and head to the Room of Requirements, because she knew Neville would need her help healing the students who had gotten the worst of the Carrows temper.

But she didn't. Because she was tired and angry and everything hurt so bad she forgot what it meant to feel safe and whole.

And even though she banished the thought from her mind the minute it entered, she couldn't forget the voice in the back of her head that whispered at her to simply end it all.

_No one would miss you, Luna._

~~She had known the incantation for the killing curse ever since she had turned sixteen.~~

* * *

* * *

 

 ~~~~|End had come, time dead and gone

Left more scars than it healed, I know.

And it was hard, so with empty hearts

I've come through it all with nothing to show| 

Luna Lovegood wasn't known for being the most sane of women, but she had good reason not to be.

She hated how she would walk through the streets and be recognized simply because she was the friend of Harry Potter.

(They scorned her once; why stop now?)

She hated the flashbacks, the phantom pains that would plague her through the night and into the day.

Luna hated how she flinched around her closest friends, and how they all pretended that everything was fine, and that they didn't do the same.

She hated how her hair wasn't white blond anymore, and how it consisted of mostly white-silver nowadays.

(She didn't tell anybody, and if anybody noticed, she never heard a thing about it)

Luna hated how Hermione couldn't remember what she was doing sometimes, or how she would pretend she didn't forget who Luna was when she walked through the front door.

(Luna knew what the Crucio curse did to you, and how being under a curse as strong as Bellatrix's for such an extended period would leave some scars that would never heal.)

 ~~~~She hated how Harry had acquiring more and more wrinkles and pains and grey hairs in a month than Dumbledore had in a year.

She hated how Neville didn't visit anymore, and how she knew that he had been getting his will in order.

(She didn't want to know why)

But most of all, Luna hated how she didn't even worry over how the doctors told her she would die from a muggle disease called cancer in less than a year.

(No, she really hates how glad she is to leave her crazy world behind)

~~And how she can r even care that shes hurting everyone she loves.~~


End file.
